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Episode 133: Raising Luminaries: 5 Conversations to Connect, Grow and Dream Big as a Family

October 13, 2022

DO YOU HAVE DINNERS AROUND THE TABLE AS A FAMILY? 

I get it, life is busy. You’re trying to run a successful business, you have your family, your spouse and your kids pulling you in multiple directions – it’s a lot. But I’ve seen the power of simple intentional conversations and the resulting transformation that happens with the families we work with, whether it’s at Camp Luminary, our mastermind members, or our Co(op) community. And I want that for you, too.

Today we are sharing the five conversations every entrepreneur should have with their family to connect, to grow and to dream big. Even if it’s one dinner a week, start there. Even if it has to be at 9pm because that’s the only time that everybody’s home, start there. Even if it’s canceling plans on a Friday night to be together, start there. If you’re not quite there yet, today we’re going to walk through some ways that you can reclaim authority over these categories of your life and have these really powerful conversations that need to happen!

Let’s raise them up right!

IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER:

[2:13] Reclaiming Authority Over Your Time

Reclaiming authority over the time you have available for your family members, to connect and have real conversations with your kids, can feel like an absolute battle but the trick is to be intentional, to prepare ahead of time, to stick with it and to let it be a core value of your family. 

Before we jump into the questions and the conversations, I have a few tips for you:

  • If some of the upcoming questions seem a little too complicated or deep for your children’s ages, I’m going to encourage you to still give them a try. Give your kids credit. You might be surprised what your little ones come up with.
  • Have an answer to share if no one has anything to share. It might be awkward to start at first because this is about establishing a rhythm that doesn’t yet exist for many people. So, be prepared to lead. 
  • Start with the easier questions so you can get people to start talking. Move on to the more difficult ones as people get more comfortable.
  • There’s no strict rule around this, it’s not a one size fits all. This is about finding what works for you and your family. 

[5:31] Family Team Culture 

Think of your family as a team. Have discussions around a shared vision and a goal that you’re working towards in terms of your family. Sometimes we’re all off in our own lanes, working towards our own goals, but what’s the mission together? 

So, here are some question starter ideas for you around this concept:

  • What kind of feeling do we want to have in our home?
  • What kind of home would you like to invite your friends to?
  • What would make you want to come home? 
  • What kind of family do we want to be?
  • What kind of relationships do we want to have with one another? 
  • What things are truly important to our family?

All of these questions can evoke answers that build a culture. 

[6:58] Family Mission

The second necessary conversation is around family mission. As entrepreneurial families, we’re more likely to value service to others, and that is a great way to bond as a family. Your mission as a family is what unifies you, this is what ultimately will bleed into the culture and create the culture. 

So, here are some question ideas for you around this:

  • What do we value? 
  • What do we want to do? 
  • Who do we want to serve? 
  • What do we want to be remembered by? 
  • How can we contribute to society as a family and become more service oriented? 
  • What is the purpose of our family? 
  • What impact are we called to make?
  • What is our greatest accomplishment thus far?
  • What is the accomplishment we want to achieve as a family? 

These are all powerful conversation starters that you can have with your kids and with your spouse to really draw out what your mission is. Just as an FYI, this is one element of the work we do together in Raising Luminaries Co(op). We provide these prompts that literally get delivered to the homes of our members to sit on their dinner tables, and we help facilitate these conversations. If that’s something that speaks to you, go to https://raisingluminariesco.com/ to get on the waitlist. 

[9:30] Vision and Possibility    

Conversation number three is around vision and possibility. 

Modeling vision and dreaming big by starting early with your family is an incredibly powerful thing to do. A lot of entrepreneurs make the mistake of having their own personal vision and not coming together as a family to cast that vision and it splinters the family. 

So, instead, how can you craft a vision together? Here are some question starters that can help you do that:  

Imagine your own family many years from now, looking back on our life together:

  • What would you be most proud of? 
  • What would you be most grateful for? 
  • What will have mattered the most? 

All of those answers end up being little fragments of the vision and possibility you’re seeking together.

[10:31] Leadership 

Number four is around leadership. Leadership is the cornerstone of all we do in terms of reaching our vision and possibility. So are you talking about it? Are you living it? Are you breaking through to your next level and are you challenging your children to do the same?

Here are some questions and some conversation starters around the idea of leadership: 

  • Can you share a time when you have been personally inspired by a leader and why?
  • Tell me about a time you were brave or innovative? 
  • Have you ever seen someone in leadership or a place of authority make a mistake? How did they handle it? What was the outcome? And do you think they handled it well?
  • What’s the difference between power and influence and which one would you rather have? 
  • Have you ever struggled with deciding what to do or what’s right in a situation? What did you end up deciding? What would you do differently next time?

[11:39] Entrepreneurship 

Finally, the conversation of entrepreneurship. Our homes and family members are our safe place. They’re the place we can be open about what’s happening or what’s bothering us, or what’s going wrong or just kind of freely and unconsciously unload without a fear of judgment. And that’s okay, but here’s the problem with it. It can often paint this negative picture of entrepreneurship. So, this is an opportunity to have a conversation around that, to be more intentional about what you bring to the table so it’s not just a bucket of complaints. Don’t get me wrong – it’s okay to show the struggle, but don’t hide the wins and just share the losses. And also, this is an opportunity to talk about the power of entrepreneurship. 

So, here are some conversation starters around this idea:

  • Tell your story: why you love what you do, how you got started, why you got started. Share the impact you’re seeking to make. 
  • Ask your kids about their thoughts around entrepreneurship and answer their questions. Give them a chance to start some conversation around entrepreneurship.
  • What would you like to know more about, what questions do you have?
  • What excites you about the idea of doing it someday yourself?

These are just a handful of conversation starters that I pulled from our bank that we started to build within the Raising Luminaries Co(op). If this got your wheels turning, we have so much more depth of possibility through this program, so go on over to https://raisingluminariesco.com/ and get on the waitlist for when we open the doors. 

I hope this episode helps you start some of these powerful conversations around your own dinner table!

We would love it if you would subscribe and leave us a review! And come connect with me on Instagram at @elizhartke and if there’s a topic, a question or a guest you want to hear on the show or an idea you have for us, just reach out and share that.

We do this for you so the more you tell us the more we can serve!

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