Episode 130: Family First Part 2: How to Stop Living for “Someday”

October 3, 2022


Have you convinced yourself that this is just a season? Are you saying things like: “When we finally do X, then we can actually do Y.” or “If we could just get to this point, then we’ll be able to [fill in the blank].” Do you feel overwhelmed and overworked, like you’re constantly putting out fires and you’re beginning to realize that it might not be just a season but it might just be your life? 

If this sounds like you, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that you can elevate out of the chaos, you can have more peace, more possibility, more flow in your business and in your life. But the bad news is that it won’t happen automatically. It won’t just happen with time and hard work alone. 

And if you want to follow along make sure you go to and snag our free 30 minute game plan that will help you gain clarity, reduce overwhelm and make the space to live your vision as a wildly successful family-first entrepreneur!


[3:36] This Too Shall Pass…Right?

For the last four years, I’ve been experiencing some health battles, so I have very regular check ins with my functional med doctor. During one of my check ins he wanted me to tell him what’s going on with work. As I’m filling him in, I’m telling him about all the things that are going on and I tell him: It’s just a season, this too shall pass. Two months later, we had another check in and he asked the same questions. Again, I started explaining my reality and it sounded almost the same. So, he tells me: “Do you notice the pattern here? You keep calling things a season, but you forget to give that season an end date.” And it hit me – I was in this habit of looking at my chaotic reality and claiming it as a season when it was really just my reality. And I had created it. 

The truth is, how we show up in the little ways and our day-to-day habits are more important than these massive shifts or big changes. The impact we can make is going to be determined more by the micro decisions that make up our days. So, stop living for the “someday” because you’re going to miss the opportunity to actually make a difference while you wait around for someday. 

[7:12] Identifying Your Non-Negotiables 

The first thing that is going to help you get one step closer to stop living for someday, and making a difference in the present is identifying your non-negotiables and having them appear on your calendar today and every single day. This is a critical piece of the puzzle. This is about living in congruence. This is about stepping out of the hypocrisy of saying one thing and operating in another way. If you never draw the line in the sand and clarify what’s really important to you, then you’ll end up doing what’s expected of you. When we’re not sure what we really want, we do what we think other people want us to do or we think we need to do what other people do despite it working against what we desire.

Creating a list of the non-negotiables in your world will help you have evidence that you are doing the things that are important to you on a day-to-day basis and that you’re living in integrity.  These non-negotiables are the things that will follow your values and principles, and clearly define what you will and will not allow. Because a lot of people don’t think of it that way, they unconsciously play the victim: life is just busy, this is just a season, it will pass, etc. No, we allow for these things. We open the door and we welcome them in. We give them a seat at our table, even though we don’t want them there.

[13:22]  Determining Your Best “YESes” and Your “NOT FOR MEs”

Once you have your non-negotiables, the next step is determining your best “YESes” and your “NOT FOR MEs”. What exists in your life right now that might feel important, or even urgent or obligatory, but it’s really not for you? Choice and intention are critical here. The tension you’re feeling stems not just from busyness, but from being complicit in your own chaos. From actually being a contributor to the mess, from choosing it, from going through the motions.

How do you value the categories of your life based on what your actions show? What do you value, based on how you live? The whole point of us creating this game plan was to get us up out of the weeds and to help us gain clarity. I was so freaking sick of feeling like I was floundering. We were working really hard as a team, but the culture was off. I didn’t have a lot of clarity as a leader, I didn’t have a lot of confidence as a leader. I really needed the clarity as a leader to know how I could reduce that overwhelm and make space for this vision that I had that I wasn’t living in alignment with, that was keeping me from being the family-first entrepreneur that I claimed I was. I was an entrepreneur first, and my family got what little was left and that wasn’t okay with me anymore. 

After I went through this process, it changed everything for me and for our company. Not only did we see huge growth, in profit and possibility, but our team shifted for the better and we started to magnetize the right opportunities. I finally have the space in the margin to be the mom that I was called to be and have the level of calm that I needed in order to show up in the ways that I wanted in the other areas of my life. 

So, make sure you go to and snag our 30 minute game plan to gain that clarity, to reduce that hurry and overwhelm and to finally make that space to live your vision as a wildly successful family-first entrepreneur.

[17:22]  Claim the Season

The final piece of the puzzle is – it’s okay to claim seasons, but you’ve got to claim them. You have to plan for them. Give them a name, give them a timeline, give them a rhythm and a process and give them an end date. Keep your priorities in check no matter what season you’re in. Even if you consciously claim a season of working and growth in your business, it does not mean it is a free ticket to neglect the non-negotiables. The non-negotiables are foundational, and honoring them is how you stay in alignment. 

Next week, we have a killer episode to bring this three-part series home that you won’t want to miss. It’s going to be so powerful and it’s going to help walk you through the final piece of our From Frazzled to Laser Focused. We also have something only for those of you who download this guide. Something that will change everything. It is the next step into your next level of success and possibility and you only get it by getting your hands on from Frazzled to Laser Focused at

I hope today’s episode helps you become that family-first entrepreneur you know you’re called to be, and how to experience the success that you know is nagging at you so that you can fully access that next level!

And if this episode spoke to you, make sure to subscribe and leave us a review! Come connect with me on Instagram at @elizhartke! If there’s a topic, a question or a guest you want to hear on the show, just reach out and share that. We do this for you so the more you tell us, the more we can serve.


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