Episode 45: Raising Luminaries: Undoing Habits

December 9, 2021


You want more for your children and their future than the average person and you’re willing to fight for it. But sometimes it feels so hard to break down what already is; the ways of operating that have already been installed into everyday life within your family. 

It’s a lot harder to undo things that are conditioned into our kids than it is to teach them something new. It’s tough to reverse course, but it’s possible and it’s powerful. So, today we’re talking about undoing habits and opening the door to new habits that start to change everything. 

Let’s raise them up right!


[1:55] Purpose and Possibility

It is painful to face the fit or the fight that comes from a kid being broken from what they want or expect. It’s so much easier to just let it be because….peace. We just want peace.

Although it can feel nearly impossible to reverse course on a habit that you likely helped your child establish without even knowing it, isn’t it our job to go to battle for them despite the discomfort and the pushback we might receive? I know it sucks but what sucks more is having a child who triggers disease in their body because of the toxic food they eat every single day because it’s easier than trying to get them to eat something clean. Or a kid who’s disconnected from reality and addicted to their device as both their pacifier and a virtual reality that they’re trapped in. 

The reason I feel like this is worthy of conversation is because of who you are, and the lengths you’re willing to go to for the leadership potential of your child. You’re not here for comfort or average. You’re here for purpose and possibility.

[6:00]  Coming Back to Your Values

As a leader, you always have to think into the future. What is the ripple effect of your child’s bad habits leading to, what is the trajectory if they stay on this path and then make decisions that are in alignment with that. So, I’m going to walk you through just five simple things that will help you with this process. 

The first one is coming back to your values or helping your child come back to your values. You need to ask yourself what habits that you or your children have that are out of congruent with those values. In our own family, we’ve established it as one of the most powerful things that we give to people, which is our True North. So, if you go to luminaryleadershipco.com/truenorth you can download this free workbook and it’s going to become your North Star, your guiding light in how to do this and you will juxtapose all your decisions and all the things that you or your children are doing. It’s going to be really an incredible guide and make it a lot easier to discern what’s right and what’s wrong for your family. 

[7:02] Who Do They Want to Become

The second thing is – who do they want to become? And if they’re too little, what’s best for them at this moment? What habits will detract from them becoming that version of themselves? What habits need to be adopted? Help them see and cast that vision for their future.

[7:37] Breaking the Habit

Number three is breaking the habit and replacing it with a new habit attached to a trigger. 

Let’s say I have a bad habit of biting my nails and I want to stop. The easiest way to stop is by replacing it with a good habit. And the easiest way to adapt a new habit is by attaching it to a trigger. Attach the new habit to something that you do every day so that it kind of clings to it and then it becomes a new habit.

[8:59] Give it Purpose and Reason

The fourth thing is give it purpose and reason, what’s in it for them. 

What will this new habit do for their body? How can this action and this new habit benefit them? You want to give it purpose and reason and give them the internal motivation and inspiration to do it, not just because you said so

[11:29] Modeling It

How can you model these habits? 

I hope you’re not teaching your kids to try and eat more clean and meanwhile you’re not. Or you’re teaching your kids to be more disciplined around their device and not be addicted to it when you are. Be on this journey with them and explore what taking on these new habits and eliminating the poor ones could look like.

I hope this episode spoke to you, and if it did please go leave a five star rating and review. 

And as always, if there’s something you want to hear on when it comes to raising luminaries or raising yourself up in leadership, please let us know because we want to continue to bring you the value that you’re seeking.


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