Episode 27: Raising Luminaries: Disciplining With Purpose

October 7, 2021


Even as adults, we need our own levels of discipline in order to grow, evolve and stay committed to the path that we’re on, but it’s especially important for kids. However, they’re not going to self discipline in the early stages. They need boundaries and guidance. 

When it comes to raising Luminaries, there are helpful ways to discipline. When we are disciplining our kids, it is really a moment of teaching and learning, or at least that’s the hope. So, in today’s episode, we’re going to talk about disciplining with purpose in a way that helps our kids to hear us.

Let’s raise them up right!


[3:03] How Do I Teach Them How to Fish?

I don’t know about you, but there are days where I still feel like a kid myself and I wonder how I have three actual kids that are relying on me to learn how to function in their own worlds. And one of the things that I struggle with is this concept of disciplining, especially with three little kids. 

Sometimes, I walk into a room while all three of them are screaming and I just want to put my head through a wall to block out the noise. But then I go into the mode of “How do I teach them how to fish?” Giving them a fish at that moment would just be me shutting it down right there, but that just means that I will run into it again the next day. But teaching them how to fish means enabling them to grow and step into their next level of leadership, empowering them by giving them the understanding as to why we’re going to do it differently. 

[4:40] What’s in it for Them? 

The big question is how to go from directly discipling our kids to infusing some teaching and some purpose into that. The easiest way is to just say: Because I said so, but this doesn’t explain why you want them to do a certain thing and it doesn’t explain the benefits behind it. 

What’s in it for them? Instead, we can start with explaining the benefits, we can have open dialogs. We have a workbook that can help you get some guiding principles and help you out with this. So, if you haven’t yet, go to luminaryleadershipco.com/truenorth and download your free copy!

[7:58] Repetition is King 

This concept of disciplining with purpose, doesn’t mean they get let off the hook or that you’re not angry. It doesn’t mean that it’s magically going to be easy and make all the tantrums stop. That’s not what I’m claiming at all, but repetition is king. 

My challenge to you is to instead of going into a disciplining moment, stop and think what’s the teaching moment. Why are you asking them to do something differently, how can you encourage them, how can you show them the benefits of making a different choice next time? 

My advice is to leave these deep conversations for the evening; around the dinner table or when you’re putting them to bed. Disciplining with purpose is going to have a ripple effect on the future of your kids. It’s going to allow the results that you hope to see in your children come to fruition more beautifully.


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