AS PARENTS, WE ALL WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR KIDS. . .
And sometimes, with the best of intentions, we can try to control their sweet little lives in the spirit of wanting the whole world and more for them. Sometimes, we want to hand them everything on a silver platter because we just want them to be happy, fulfilled and healthy. And I think parents who also run businesses can maybe (just maybe) be even a bit more guilty of this.
There’s so much pressure on kids today: getting great grades across the board, being in high-level sports and making varsity, dealing with bullying, the digital world, and all these different things that they’re facing can turn us into well-intentioned micromanagers for our kids.
In today’s episode I want to present an idea that’s going to flip the script and hopefully free you of this pressure that we put on ourselves – because controlling and dictating our children’s path is not only not helping them, but it’s actually robbing them of the lessons through failures and mistakes, that they need to shape them into who they’re actually called to be.
So, let’s raise them up right!
IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER:
[2:30] What Is Our Focus?
In Episode 11 of Raising Luminaries, we talked about cultivating independence and this goes along with that but it takes it to a whole new level. We’ve had a lot of conversations within our team and one of my amazing team members shared something with me that really sparked this concept and I want to share it with you because I think it might resonate.
So, during the pandemic, one of my team members chose to home-school her kids and with the best of intentions, she decided that because math was something her daughter was struggling with, they were going to buckle down and double the curriculum. Math was the focal point, she was bound and determined to build her child up and make a math whiz out of her. But instead, they spent the first half struggling, fighting and in tears. Both the parent and the child were frustrated. But, as soon as she released control over micromanaging this specific aspect and instead started focusing her attention on her daughter’s interests, there was just automatically so much more growth and learning that started to happen. She took her daughter’s interest in learning new skills, specifically making her art digital, and applied it to other areas. Ultimately, math ended up coming more easily to her daughter because she was doing it through a channel that she was passionate about.
[6:10] What Should We Be Doing Instead?
Let’s discover who our children are, instead of trying to mold them into what we think is best or who we think they should be. Because a lot of times when we’re doing that, it’s based on what was placed on us as kids that we’re passing down generationally, instead of breaking free of.
So, focus on their gifts and the things they are showing us as signs and hints at the future Luminary that they’re meant to be in this world, and then supporting hard work and dedication in those things over achievement and success defined by people that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of our children’s lives.
[10:10] What Sparks Do You See?
As entrepreneurs we know that we can build a team to support us in places where we may be lacking, but those things that are uniquely ours and truly what we’re meant to do – those are the things that matter. Those are the things that we should be looking out for, supporting, acknowledging, and celebrating.
So, why aren’t we doing that for our kids?
What sparks do you see in your own children? Are you noticing them? Are you fostering them and cultivating them? Sometimes these sparks are small and they can be missed if we’re not paying attention and it’s why I created an interest log for each of my kids so that I would have a place to document these little passions that can be hints at their purpose. Seeing all my notes in one place helps me direct how I support each of my kids differently and helps me tune in.
If this is something that you’d be interested in, you are in luck. You can download my free guide at https://luminaryleadershipco.com/raising-luminaries-spark/ to have a place to document your child’s sparks and passions. I also include ideas and guidance to help design and discover this unique trajectory for them based on those passions and sparks. So, make sure you take a look!
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
- Episode 11 Raising Luminaries: Cultivating Independence
- Live Love Now: Relieve the Pressure and Find Real Connection with Our Kids by Rachel Macy Stafford
- Your Free Guide to find your child’s sparks and passions
- Connect with me on Instagram!