Episode 15: Raising Luminaries: Fostering Teamwork

August 26, 2021


We want to look at leadership development for kids in our lives from all angles that will move the dial in their development and growth. 

Today, specifically, we are focusing on the power of teamwork and how to best teach teamwork to our little and big Luminaries. This is an important skill for so many areas in life and it’s integral to leadership development. 

So, how can we level up our teamwork skills and teach it to our kids in a way that’s going to serve them in adulthood? 

Let’s find out as we raise them up right!


[02:00] Leadership Doesn’t Happen On an Island

Sometimes, we think of leaders as this person on a pedestal, in a league of their own. But by definition, that would disqualify them from true leadership because it doesn’t happen on an island, alone with your brilliant ideas. It only happens in a community, on a team where there are actual people to be led. So, when it comes to leadership values and characteristics that we want to bring around the dinner table and into our children, it’s important that we’re giving them opportunities to put it into practice. That’s where teamwork comes in, it’s a critical step into stepping into leadership. 

And like with everything we talked about on Raising Luminaries, it starts with us. 

[02:55] Together, You Are Unbreakable

I grew up so blessed in this big, loud, loving, tight-knit, extended, multicultural family. There were a lot of us and lines between my immediate family and my extended family were totally blurred, there really was no division between the two. It was a village in every sense of the word. With 25 cousins, many close in age, there was a lot of energy and a lot of crazy under one roof at the same time. We spent a lot of our time playing together, usually outside, getting into trouble, actually being kids. And almost daily, someone would be fighting about something. 

One day my aunt, who is like a second mother to me, sits us down (probably sick of our screaming and wanting us to shut up), goes to my Nana’s kitchen and brings out a bunch of pencils. She sat us down inside and told us that we were each being represented by a pencil. Then she effortlessly starts snapping those pencils one by one, saying: I represent life and I can snap each one of you like a twig. 

But, what she did next has stuck with me for over 25 years. She took the remaining pencils and said: Alone, you don’t stand a chance, but together…and then she went to break the pencils, all at the same time…and they didn’t snap. Then she said: Together, you are unbreakable. You can keep trying to do life on your own, looking out for yourself, watching your own back, trying to get what you want. Or you can learn how to work together.

[08:00]  Start With Your Family 

The perfect place to start the process of teaching our kids teamwork skills, is the first team they ever become a part of, which is their family. Whether they’re little, like mine, or they’re in college, this is something that you can implement and bring to your family that can be transformational. 

And the best place to model it as their parent is with your teammate, your spouse. Do you work together when you face a challenge or do you turn against each other when you get frustrated? Unfortunately, most parents don’t realize how their dynamic as a team: respect, compromise, putting family’s interest above their own, affects how their kids are going to work in teams. 

[9:35] Luminary Leadership Incubator

Have you been craving something that’s going to support you in breaking through, something that’s going to take your leadership to the next level? The Luminary Leadership Incubator is an unprecedented business opportunity for founders, both men and women, to amplify their leadership, build true wealth, and proactively create more impact in the world. This invite-only program is going to change everything: your business growth, how to show up for and raise your family well, generational change, generational wealth, tapping into your potential and your purpose. Go to https://luminaryleadershipco.com/incubator and book a call. 

We’re holding a few spots for our listeners before we kick this thing off in the fall and you don’t want to miss it!

[10:30] Common Mission

The next most important step in working productively as a team with your spouse is knowing the expectations, the standards, the values, the vision. You guys have to have a common mission with what that team as a whole is working towards. Michael and I really needed this as we started to have kids because before having kids, it was so easy. We were two adults, living life together, but the decisions didn’t require us to tap into each individual value constantly because we didn’t have a team outside of the two of us. 

But, then all of a sudden it became very obvious that we were raised (how shocking!) in two different families with different priorities and it was going to be up to us to create new standards and bring in our own priorities and values. We needed a process that was going to bring him and I together to create this code of ethics and values that we were choosing to live by. 

For us, it was a process that we originally did years ago, a three-part process that has been so transformational both in our family and also in our businesses – True North.

[12:13] The Raising Luminaries True North 

Every family needs a True North. It’s a process to help families come together around their mission. It’s a free workbook that you can get at: https://luminaryleadershipco.com/truenorth/. Trust me, you all want to do this. 

This is going to be such a gift to your kids, not just now but for the remainder of their lives.

There’s just going to be this harmony in your whole family, but also in the decisions you are making. It’s going to give you, as a parent and a business owner, massive amounts of clarity when decisions have to be made. It will also do the same for your kids as they navigate the countless challenges in their lives

[13:48] Family Principles 

I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine. 

We all have different traumas and life experiences that help us decide the level of trust we’re going to have with other people or how we operate. But in a team there has to be that trust, and that’s a big principle within our family. Another one is – I fill in where I’m needed. We all wear a lot of hats within a family, so if we see a need, we jump in to support even if it’s not on our to-do list. The third principle is – what’s best for the family is also what’s best for me. So, even if it’s inconvenient or a sacrifice, I’m going to do it. 

[15:00] We Are Not Dictators, We Are Shepherds

Give your kids chances to rise to the occasion and rise to the challenges that will come with learning how to be a team player. 

Work with them, not against them. 

Have a mutual respect for your children. We are not dictators, we are  shepherds, it’s our job to guide them in these areas of life. But remember that the best example is going to come through your marriage. And if you are looking for ways to get your kids into teamwork opportunities outside of the family, get them into sports or other group activities. Figure out which sport or group activities are going to allow them to nurture those teamwork skills with their siblings, with their cousins, their family members, with friends. Find ways to put them in situations where they are naturally forced to work as a team.


  • Find out more information about our Incubator or book a call!
  • Find your family’s True North 
  • Connect with me on Instagram and share how you are helping the kids in your life foster teamwork!

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