LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL ON THE TABLE.
Raising kids and deeply caring about how they are actually raised (not just raising them to survive) while simultaneously growing a business and actually deeply caring about the possibility of success, can feel like a lot!
In these situations, peace can feel like a far off dream, not accessible to you because of the life you’ve chosen. But I would argue that entrepreneurial life has chosen you, you were designed for this.
So, how do you create that life of calm with and for your kids when you’re juggling so much? Do you have to give up the career you love? Do you have to cut back? Do you have to take your foot off the gas? Is there just something broken in you or in your life that leaves you feeling like you’re constantly spinning?
Well, we’re going to talk about it in today’s episode.
Let’s raise them up right!
IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER:
[2:27] Diagnosing the Problem
Today’s episode is all about diagnosing the problem.
You are called to be what we call a family-first entrepreneur, where you can be absolutely a successful entrepreneur, growing and scaling your business without you having to give more and more of yourself. But there’s a way to get there, and it doesn’t mean sacrificing your peace.
As a family and as a company, we have been through a lot of seasons over the last decade where we’ve felt like we’ve captured the peace we crave. And then conversely, there have been seasons where we felt totally out of alignment.
And there are different symptoms that come out of both ways of living. So let’s do a little self diagnosis, shall we? I want to share what comes up for us both on the business side of things and the personal side with the family. And according to our research over the last 10+ years, these are also the same symptoms that our clients face. So we know this is not just unique to us, we know that this is what others go through.
[5:12] Business Side of Things
So, let me walk you through some of the symptoms that we experience on the business side of things when we’re not congruent with our values and when we’re not living in accordance with who we’re called to be:
- First one is obvious – it’s stress. We’re taking on too many things at once. We’re not feeling like we’re moving the needle in any particular way. And we justify the stress.
- The other thing is our team culture is out of balance. We notice friction, people feel burnt out, they’re not happy. And that becomes very apparent, and that bleeds into the work.
- Also, a big one that I’ve noticed for myself and a lot of my clients is I lose my confidence in my leadership. During the seasons, I question every move I make, I doubt myself, I second guess the decisions I’ve made. I stay in a place of total decision fatigue, where I can’t make a decision. And I can’t clearly identify the right what or how or when.
- That then changes my schedule which becomes slammed and I lose any and all of the margin I should have to work on the business, not just in it.
- As a result of this, the future becomes really unclear to me. I get disconnected from our vision as a company, and then I even get disconnected from our vision as a family.
- Eventually things start slipping through the cracks, because we’re just putting out fires all the time. And then burnout decides to show up to the party, because we’re tired and we’re doing all the things. Soon, the joy starts to fade from the work we’re doing and then we start to develop this victim mentality.
- Again, stress, which leads to friction in our marriage and more arguing, and then physical and mental exhaustion, because it’s exhausting to be stressed.
- And then my least favorite one – hurry. Hurry becomes our mantra and our mode of operating where we work and then we have just enough time to throw dinner together and then get the kids off to bed.
- Because of that, we have a cluttered or messy house because we don’t have the time and space to address those things.
- Then we get this feeling of living for the weekends. But then the weekends themselves are either stressed because you have to catch up on everything or they’re super gluttonously lazy because you just need to numb out.
- Our kids start acting out because they want more of us. And they want more than our physical presence, they want our mental and emotional presence too.
- A lot of times in these seasons, we get sick. Everyone inevitably gets some annoying cold that lingers for a month, and gets passed around from person to person. And it’s just so frustrating.
- More flow states where you just get in a groove and you’re coming alive doing this work. When you’re in the right state, and you’re operating in a way that is in congruence with your values, it is allowing you to continue to grow and evolve.
- Next, your team will be well oiled, having fun, and energized. That culture comes back the way you want it.
- You become more confident in your leadership. The mission is clear, the values are intact.
- Your schedule reflects this. There’s a lot of whitespace to contemplate and to create.
- Then you start to see and feel the momentum, you’re not putting out fires all day long. You’re doing the things that are actually driving the mission forward and your numbers reflect that.
- You don’t have the victim mindset anymore. You still encounter problems because you can’t get rid of those, but they’re less and when they arise, they’re quickly and effectively solved.
- There is just more joy, a lighter schedule, more productivity, and more done in less time.
- Your marriage gets better and you start working as a team.
- You’re energized and your kids are more connected to you and each other and they’re arguing less.
- Your weekends are relaxing and purposeful and your weeks also have this ease to them that didn’t exist before.
- There’s less illness in your home, generally speaking, and your house is a little more organized.
- You’re actually looking ahead at the vision and have a better perspective as a family.
- To get clear on your values, check out our Luminary Leadership True North. Do it before you tune in next week!
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