Episode 125: Raising Luminaries: Strengthening Individual Family Bonds – This One Tweak Will Change Everything

September 15, 2022

I’M SO EXCITED TO BRING YOU TODAY’S RAISING LUMINARIES EPISODE because my guess is that what seems like common sense might not be common practice in a lot of families, especially entrepreneurial families that are juggling so much. And I would venture to say that most families are probably not making much time for this. This can be a really powerful new tradition in your family without a huge investment of time. 

Today’s episode is all about prioritizing family one-on-one time between each of the members. (So, not just you with your kids individually!) 

Listen in and let’s raise them up right!


[1:41] One-on-One for the Whole Family 

Now, I’m not just talking about date night for mom and dad or individual time with each parent and each kid. I’m talking about one-on-one time, very intentional between all members of the family, and you have to mold this conversation to fit your family. 

This is all about deepening those family bonds and those relationships that are going to be our longest ones of our lives and the most important gift we can give to our kids. We don’t think about it often, but sibling relationships are likely the longest relationship anyone will ever have. We need to foster these relationships really intentionally so that they don’t just become taken for granted. This doesn’t have to be elaborate or complex, the point is to carve out the time, and to make sure it’s intentional, distraction-free and focused.

[3:47] Who Is Being Paired Up

The first piece is deciding who is being paired up one-on-one. There are a lot of different ways that you can do this. You can have a day of the week and a period of time during that day of the week where you rotate. So for example, every Friday at 4pm, after work and before dinner, for an hour that pairing happens. Thinking about and anticipating, getting excited about that quality time is key. 

[4:48] A Few Tips 

Here are a few tips on how to achieve this:

  • Make the time about quality, not quantity. If you can’t do an hour, 10 minutes makes an impact. Giving kids undivided attention for smaller amounts of time is far greater than five hours of being together in the same room but on devices and distracted by work.
  • Phones go away, distractions go away. Cell phones, devices, screens, TVs, all that. 
  • You don’t need this to be a formal activity for it to count. Instead, you can join what the other person is doing, or invite them into your routine, but I love the idea of having a specific day and time each week where this magic happens.
  • Make sure the rest of the family is either paired up or occupied so that there’s no distractions.
  • Put the time on your calendar. 
  • The time is spent doing something that lifts both of the people up and builds that connection. 

Just think how cool it would be if years went by, and over the course of those years, instead of just existing as siblings or existing as a family, all those hours added up. So, each year you had 52 hours spent with intention with a member of your family doing something you both love. And specifically the power of that for siblings, who usually just coexist. But imagine if they had all these intentional hours together.

I hope this episode shows you the power of  prioritizing family one-on-one time between all the members.

We would love it if you would subscribe and leave us a review! And come connect with me on Instagram at @elizhartke and if there’s a topic, a question or a guest you want to hear on the show or an idea you have for us, just reach out and share that.

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