Today I’m stepping away from our usual discussions on leadership and business to share something deeply personal. I recently went through a traumatic experience that has reshaped my understanding of resilience and strength: the loss of my fifth baby during pregnancy. 

*Content Warning: Pregnancy Loss* I gently want to provide a heads-up that the following content involves discussions surrounding pregnancy loss. My intention is to share my personal experience with the utmost care and respect for those who may have experienced or are currently navigating such a loss. 

I found myself in a routine check-up only to be blindsided by the most harrowing news – there was no heartbeat. The emotional whirlwind that ensued was something I had to face alone initially, as I sat in the doctor’s office grappling with the reality before me. The drive home was a blur, a prelude to the devastating task of breaking the news to my husband, Michael.

The pain was not just emotional but also physical. The process of delivering the baby at home was unexpectedly rapid and came with overwhelming emotions and complications. I want to extend my empathy to anyone who has endured a similar loss. The pain is profound, and the challenges are immense.

The complications escalated quickly, leading to a significant blood loss that left me in a state of urgency and fear. My midwife and I were concerned about the possibility of passing the placenta, and the situation became dire. I found myself on the floor, covered in blood, with Michael acting swiftly to cover me with his clothes, protecting our children from the distressing scene.

As we prepared to rush to the hospital, I experienced a moment of near fainting, with tunnel vision and white noise clouding my senses. Yet, amidst the chaos, I found a moment of clarity – a directive to kiss my children goodbye, a poignant connection in the midst of turmoil.

The journey to the hospital was one of discomfort and fear, a stark reminder of the fragility of life. We had to make the heart-wrenching decision to leave our newborn baby at home, trusting a friend to provide care in our absence.

Upon arrival at the hospital, my condition was critical. I was immediately hooked up to fluids to combat the blood loss. While the fluids provided temporary relief the gravity of the situation remained. I will go into part two in episode 220 coming next. 

Resilience in the Face of Grief

This experience has taught me about the interconnectedness of our personal lives and professional endeavors. It has shown me that even in the depths of grief, there is a capacity for growth and a resilience that can emerge. My family’s ordeal has been a testament to the strength that comes from love and support, and I hope that by sharing my story, I can offer solace to others facing similar trials.

Thank you for allowing me to share this intimate part of my life with you. It’s a reminder that behind every voice, every leader, there’s a personal story that shapes and defines us. Let’s continue to support each other through all of life’s journeys.